A great quote in yoga class today
I go to a great hot vinyasa class at a studio called Yogaspark. Often the teacher will open or close class with a quote. Usually these don't really leave much of a mark on me. I find that so much of mindfulness literature sounds good at the moment, but vanishes quickly into an uncatalogued bottomless memory pit. These quotes often seem like different shapes of pasta--fusilli or pappardella--it's all pasta. Mindfulness quotes seem to be comprised of the same 40 words, and address the same 6 topics, all in different configurations.
Today's quote was different for me though. Why? It was so pithy and it made so much sense to me clinically. My teacher, Nikki, didn't even attribute the quote to any one, so I doubt it's the work of a major pundit. In fact, it's almost a "duh" quote it's so patently obvious. Here is the pasta of the day:
"A happy life is comprised of happy moments. But we often miss happy moments when we focus all our energy on getting a happy life."
Recognize this phenomenon?
You get a great job, you're enjoying it and find it stimulating. You are bummed when you have your annual review, because you get a raise but no change in title. There is barely a moment of joy before the realization sets in that you won't be a "VP by January" or "some classmates are getting both", etc.
Your partner gives you a present for no reason, with expectations of some sort of declaration of "taking the relationship to the next level" you are crestfallen to find it's a waffle iron referring to an inside joke of months ago. There's barely a moment of "how thoughtful" before you're sliding down the "this isn't going anywhere" avalanche.
You call your Mom, feeling pleased with yourself that you feel like calling and are actually DOING it. She hits you immediately with a guilt inducing "I haven't heard from you in so long." Can you hang up immediately? Probably not. But what kind of conversation will this be having felt generous, being immediately deflated by the long term evaluation of Mom?
You had a nice, productive morning: getting paperwork done, cleaning your apartment, or puttering in your garden. You commute to your next activity, and the train sucks, you're sweaty and your jeans are suffocating you, or you forgot your phone (god forbid). The next person you run into will likely get a "worst morning" summary rather than hearing about how pleased you are that you actually submitted some insurance bills. When the day fails to turn out as we planned or hoped, we somehow wipe out the previous experiences of quiet pleasure.
It's as though we NEED things to turn out in that happy life way. We need that promotion, we need to get to that "next level" in our relationship, we need to be seen in the way we want to be seen. Or do we? What if we keep a light hold on the long term picture (tend to it, but be reasonable) AND savor the small stops along the way? Might we actually hang onto more happy moments and get a happy life? A patient of mine told me a great Buddhist saying, "Have faith in god, but tie up your camel." Meaning??? Trust things will work out, but just in case, be generally conscientious. Try to take care of yourself, be kind to your people, work hard, act intentionally, and be reliable. If you act this way, your camel will be safe. If you act this way and don't cleave unduly to the NEED to have things go as you envisioned, you're likely to enjoy your morning in the garden, or your neat little pile of paid bills, or the daily smile from your doorman or coffee guy.
