My Therapeutic Approach
Therapy is a dynamic collaborative relationship. Of course we begin with the specific problems that brought you into therapy. After the first few sessions we may roam freely from current moments, to the history of your life, to thoughts and aspirations about your future. After I get a sense of your present circumstances and history, and you become more comfortable speaking to me, I find it doesn't actually matter what we speak about. Whatever we speak about, we find you. Even in the smallest details of life such as which seat you tend to choose on an airplane, or how you react when your subway train is delayed, tends to contain small traces of your larger concerns. That being said, I am an avoidance buster. You won’t spend weeks or months avoiding important issues.
I have a highly interactive style. I’m not the neutral New Yorker cartoon therapist who sits quietly while the patient talks endlessly to himself. I’m direct and expressive. I will volunteer my emotional reactions, I will draw on relevant clinical examples, I will share aspects of my own experience. I will react, answer, and remain attentive and engaged. I may give homework assignments, not pencil and paper type homework, but challenges. I may ask you to initiate that long avoided conversation, or notice how often you exhibit a certain behavior, or work with you in a very practical way to find a helpful solution to a dilemma your’e facing.
We will usually spend the first few sessions identifying some goals you want to achieve in the therapy. Although the idea of therapy (“what is it like?”, and “how does it work?”) can be difficult to describe, we will periodically assess how we are doing with your goals and alter our course depending on how effective we are and how satisfied you feel with your progress. I’m very practical. I believe therapy should change your life. I believe therapy should improve your life. For example, if you want to feel less anxious, be happier, have more satisfying relationships, feel stronger in yourself, I will vigorously pursue those goals with you.
Over the years I’ve become aware that I am more transparent and more educative about how therapy works than many therapists. I often follow my instincts to certain areas of concern based on what experience has taught me about where important issues lie. If you are surprised by a turn our conversation takes, I will gladly explain why I’m directing us there. I often have an evolving “map” in my mind of how are work is going, and how effective it is. I will generally share that with you. I have worked effectively with many people over the years, and some of that knowledge can be very helpful to you. I will discuss current research findings, provocative theories, and new formulations of typical problems and conditions.